On Tinderhooks!

She opened her bleary eyes when the cat, all seven kilograms of squirming flesh and fluffy fur, burrowed under her blanket. Squinting into the faint sunlight that streamed in from a window that was slightly ajar, she yawned. The full scale of yesterday’s disaster sank in slowly. Thanks to him, she was now the weary (and not so proud) possessor of a terrible migraine. As if the throbbing pain was not enough, she discovered that she had not only lost a tooth but also returned home looking like what the cat dragged in. 

It all began with that frigging horoscope!

[The Previous Day]

Anita scrolled through the news on her mobile aimlessly, until she reached the horoscope section. 

Libra – Your love life will rock today. You will wiggle your way out of uncomfortable situations. The loss of something precious might rankle you, but it will lead you to the greater good. It is a good time to introspect. You will end your day looking like a million bucks.

Anita was reading the horoscope for the nineteenth time that day to ward away from boredom. She had reached the restaurant thirty minutes early. He wouldn’t be arriving anytime soon. A faint flush appeared on her face when she thought of her impending date with Andy. 

After many unsuccessful attempts, she found a match on Tinder. A few (flirtatious) chats later, finally, it was time to meet Andy in person. Excited, Anita put on a little black dress, applied kohl on her eyes, and painted her lips in a deep maroon. 

“Hello, Anita!” The voice was soft. 

Anita looked up to see a smiling Andy. She got up and gave him a bear hug. “Hey! Nice to see you.”

Andy whistled at her. “You look absolutely gorgeous.”

Anita blushed a crimson red.

Andy took his seat and took a swig of water from the glass. “You must be having some lip-smacking news for me.”

His question threw Anita off guard. “Excuse me!”

Andy winked at her. “I love your bee-stung lips. You got the pun?”

Anita coughed in an attempt to hide her embarrassment and beckoned the waiter to take their orders. She opted for a mocktail and French fries. Andy ordered the same. 

While biting into the fries, Anita realised that not only was Andy blessed with asinine humour, but was as clueless as Trump managing the Covid crisis. He thought that all furry cats were Persian and women with red lips were open invitations for cracking PJs. She cursed herself for going overboard with her makeup. 

I need an excuse to get out!

Andy, meanwhile, had cracked his fiftieth joke of the day that involved lips and hair. 

Should I feign sickness?

Andy’s fifty-first joke was about climate control activists in what looked like an attempt to showcase his general knowledge.

Should I kill off my mom? The desperation in Anita now took on the shape of a monster.

Andy leaned over. “I’m a very frank person. My place or your place?”

Ewwww! Look at his teeth. Has he even brushed them?

“Restroom,” she stuttered.

“You want to do it in the restroom,” Andy asked her, looking confused.

“N…No. I want to use the restroom.” Anita stood up and excused herself. 

In her overzealous attempt to escape from Andy, she didn’t see the waiter coming towards the neighbouring table with a bowl of fish soup. She collided with him and fell face down. A sharp pain shot through her mouth. 

Did I just see my tooth flying out?

Anita winced in pain, as she turned around. The overwhelming smell of the stew assaulted her nostrils, and she threw up. 

[Back to the Present]

So much for the horoscope!

Anita got up and looked at her reflection. She hadn’t bothered to wipe away her makeup but had immediately hit the sack. Her kohl was smudged, and she looked like a raccoon. Yeah, a million bucks indeed!

Ting! 

That was Andy, asking her if they could meet up again.

Anita ignored him. She dialled her dentist instead. 

 

Prompt of Story #6 –

A horoscope, a missing tooth, makeup

Word Count –

676 (only the story)

Prompt by –

Authoropod