What The Fish?!

Holding her bushy tail high in the air and sniffing her wet nose, Mimmi sashayed towards the Mukherjee household. The man of the house had a generous heart, and always kept aside a fish or two for her. She would then rub her face against his ankle, thanking him for his magnanimity, and purr. Then, grabbing the fish between her teeth, she would make a dash for the veranda, where she could lunch in peace. 

Her feline sense told her to pause in her tracks. Something was amiss. 

Holy Bastet! 

Where was the aroma that used to waft in from the punti? She turned her ears back and swished her tail. The foul smell hitting her nostrils was most definitely paneer. Ewwww! Who eats this disgusting stuff in this house? Has Mukherjee babu gone mad? 

It was then she remembered. That rascal Uttam had been speaking the truth after all. He had whispered in her ears that the Mukherjees were shifting. But she had dismissed it with a wave of her paw. This imp always had an eye for her, and had been angling to lure her in his trap. 

A little girl came out. Her eyes glinted with excitement. “Look, mummy! What a beautiful cat! Can I give her a piece of my paneer?”

Please no! Just get lost!

A woman’s voice came from the kitchen. “Arey, beta! Cats love fish. Not boring veggies.”

Ah! I love this woman.

The girl disappeared. Mimmi’s tummy began to rumble. Damn these people! They left me in the lurch. May you rot in eternal hell, Mr. Mukherjee. 

The woman’s head peeped out from the kitchen. “Oh my poor kitty! You are still there. You must be hungry! Wait! I will give you a big piece of paneer.”

For the love of Bastet, don’t do that! Mimmi opened her mouth to register her protest when the rumblings in her stomach hit an embarrassingly high decibel. Ouch! She was feeling faint. She had to eat something. But paneer? Her thoughts went back to that disastrous date with Uttam. He had managed to procure a canned tin of tuna, and had served it to Mimmi. She had been startled by his sheer audacity. How dare the devil serve her stale food meant for measly commoners? She was the queen of AB Mallick Lane! Her Royal Highness was used to fresh fish. Absolutely zero compromise there.

While dropping her at her lane, Uttam had kissed her. “Darling! Do you think I served you canned food on purpose? I couldn’t get that hilsa. For some strange reason, the Mukherjees do not like me. They shoo me away. Mimmi! One can’t be rigid in these uncertain times. You have to adapt to survive.”

Mumbling a silent curse aimed at Mr. Mukherjee, Mimmi meowed softly. The big chunk of paneer landed on the paved footpath. Grimacing, the feline bent down, sniffed it once, and gulped it immediately. 

Change is the only constant? Duh! Just get extinct, you moronic humans!

Glossary:

Bastet – An Egyptian Goddess, worshipped in the form of a feline

Punti – A small freshwater fish